Validate
Given that nearly two thirds of American adults have felt lonely in the past year, a little validation can go a long with to making a big impact on somebody. Here’s some ways that you might employ the principle of validation in your life.
Given that nearly two thirds of American adults have felt lonely in the past year, a little validation can go a long with to making a big impact on somebody. Here’s some ways that you might employ the principle of validation in your life.
Being acknowledged means being seen, heard and validated as a human. Many relationships fail and many employees quit when people do not feel their presence makes a difference. Acknowledgement could be private from “I see how hard you are working,” or “I know this must be hard,” to public kudos. Either way acknowledgement staves off loneliness and helps people feel connected and important.
Compliments are one of the most cost and time effective of all Little Big Things. And they are everywhere and are never ending! From calling out a great pair of earrings, to admiring how someone handled a situation, to recognizing a great strength of character compliments are the low hanging fruit of the validation family!
Being heard is a fundamental part of validation. It’s more than being recognized - in its truest form listening equates to the knowledge that someone understands your situation and how you feel. True active listening is hard; there is always a temptation to listen only for those gaps where you get to respond, and often in an attempt to connect with the person we are listening to, we inadvertently recenter conversations around our own experiences. Listening is a truly a giving act, so see if you can resist these common urges and center entirely on the other person.
Thanks and validation go hand in hand. To say thanks is to recognize that someone has done something for you, and also to validate their efforts and existence. Handwritten cards, texts, emails, and gifts can all be forms of thanks, but never underestimate the power of a simple, sincere face to face verbal thank you!
Respect is a hard Little Big Thing to define, but an easy thing to spot in real life. It is the feeling we give each other that we are safe to express ourselves however we choose, knowing that the other person may disagree, but won’t invalidate your feelings or ideas. We can foster respect through listening, not interrupting, and making an effort to appreciate where someone is coming from. An expression that embodies respect is “don’t yuck someone’s yum!”